Scientist (73 blagues)

Have you ever noticed algebraists eat corn lengthwise and analysts eat corn widthwise but topologists rotate through the fourth dimension and eat it inside out?

Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car

They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies.

The cop says “You were doing 55 in a 35.” Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts “Great! Now I’m lost!”

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”

“We do now, asshole!” shouts Schrodinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.

Hello everyone! I’m a scientist and I am researching bestiality between humans and dogs.
I will be in my Lab if you need me.

• 🍆 Sex

Horror film called “Occam’s Razor” about a razor shop owner and serial killer named Occam who kills people with razors, but the townspeople refuse to believe it could be him and advance increasingly absurd theories to explain the spate of razor deaths plaguing the town

How many general relativists to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, the other to rotate the universe.

I can’t believe Leonardo DiCaprio yelled “I’m on top of the world” from the Titanic, a ship, that was at sea. at sea level.
The scientifically lowest altitude in the world.

He was nowhere near the top, he was literally at the bottom. What a stupid idiot.

If Miley Cyrus was Canadian she would be Kilometery Cryus.

• 🇨🇦 Canada

If Queen Elizabeth accidentally farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases should have no reaction.

• 🇬🇧 United Kingdom

If you choose an answer to this question at random what is the chance you will be correct?

A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 60%
D) 25%

If you find gold in Australia where should you look for silver?

Agstralia

• 🇦🇺 Australia