je suis venu, j'ai cliqué,
Social system (34 blagues)
Voir aussi :
Son: “Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?”
Father: “Sure son. What’s the question?”
Son: “What is Politics?”
Father: “Well, let’s take our home for an example. I am the wage earner, so let’s call me “Capitalism”. your mother is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her “Government”. We take care of your need, so let’s call you “The People”. We’ll call the maid “The Working Class” and your little brother, we can call “The Future”. Do you understand son?
Son: “I’m not really sure, dad. I’ll have to think about it.”
That night awakened by his brother’s crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents’ room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid’s room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy’s knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.
Son: “Dad, now I think i understand what politics is.”
Father: “Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?”
Son: “Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.”
🔗Voir la blague
The best argument against Democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
🔗Voir la blague
The next time you dislike your life, remember it’s all about perspective.
I have a friend who reads 2-3 books a week, works out twice a day, has no financial worries, and has people who want to have sex with him all the time. And yet he constantly complains about how much he hates prison.
🔗Voir la blague
The problem with jokes about communism is that they’re no good unless everyone gets them.
🔗Voir la blague
There’s a rule that says bureaucracies follow a 3/2 law: to double productivity, you need three times many employees.
🔗Voir la blague
Three fellows are unceremoniously dumped into a cell at the notorious Lubyanka Prison.
As often happens, talk turns to why they were arrested.
The first prisoner says: “Comrades, I was arrested because I said that Ivan Semnykov was a traitor to the Revolution.”
The second prisoner can’t believe his ears. “But comrades,” he says, “I was arrested because I said that Ivan Semnykov was a hero of the Revolution!”
The third prisoner says nothing at first, but after repeated prodding by the first two prisoners, he says, glumly:
“I am Ivan Semnykov.”
🔗Voir la blague
TWITTER RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: would you like to see some porn your friends like?
FACEBOOK RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: this terrible thing happened a year ago!
AMAZON RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: buy five more TVs.
YOUTUBE RECOMMENDATION ALGORITHM: would you like to become a Nazi?
Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.
I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.
When I was a kid, mum used to send me to the shops with 50p. I could come home with a chicken, 2 pints of milk, 6 eggs, 2 packs of bacon and a comic book.
You can’t do that nowadays though because of that fucking CCTV.