A Kickstarter where you donate yearly based on your income and they build roads and hospitals and your kids can go to school for free.

• 🇺🇸 America

A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar and order drinks.
“We don’t sell alcohol to anyone under 18”, says the bartender.

A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”

The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.

The C.E.O says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze” so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.

The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says “I got a masters degree in art.”

• 🧙‍♂️ Fantasy

BEFORE WE CAN SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION WE MUST SEIZE THE MEANS OF STAGING

• 🖥️ Technology

Capitalist dictionary

Freedom

serving the rich

Equality

everyone gets to serve the rich.

Happiness

liking how you serve the rich.

Failure

your life’s work isn’t useful to the rich.

Communism jokes are not funny
Unless everyone gets them.

Democracy is a human governance system where your stupidity level does not correlate with the level of influence society grants you.

God: To make you all safer, I’ve made sure 50% of humanity is alert in the morning and 50% in the evening
Humans: We’ll make the other 50% also get up in the morning
God: holdon
Humans: Not getting up at 5am is a moral failure
God: No, plz stop
Humans: society demands it, you bum

I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude.
Always walkin around like they rent the place.

• 💰 Money