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America (67 blagues)

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a criminal president under constant federal investigation from day one.

Turns out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I’m stuck with a criminal president under federal investigation from day one.

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When Trump tested positive for COVID-19, that was the first test he passed without cheating.

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Two hardcore Trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, “yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”.

God says, “my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232”.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, “This goes higher up than we thought”.

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US has oil, weapons of mass destruction and massive democratic instability. Makes them a prime candidate for US invasion.

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What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
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What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common?
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs, but I shouldn’t compare apples to oranges.
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What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
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What’s the difference between a computer and an American?
An American doesn’t have trouble-shooting.
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What’s the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?
One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
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What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?
North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.
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