Pleased to announce my wife and I finally completed a six hour negotiation to pick out the movie she’s going to look at her phone to while I fall asleep on the couch

je suis venu, j'ai cliqué,

Pleased to announce my wife and I finally completed a six hour negotiation to pick out the movie she’s going to look at her phone to while I fall asleep on the couch.

Une blague au hasard ?

Blague courte 👇

“Remember: Satan was the first to demand equal rights”.

Not sure if this is anti-equals right, or pro-Satan.

How many BuzzFeed workers does it take to turn on an electric chair?: Thirteen. But number nine will shock you.

Plus de blagues 👇

Why be informed when you can use your own feelings as fact?
me: how can I impress your dad? …
Sex is great but have you ever gone camping in the winter with somebody special? You laid out under the bright unspoiled country stars in the middle of nowhere holding their hand, just kinda dreaming out loud about your future together, and they ain’t saying a word cause words would ruin it, they just keep squeezing that hand real tight and looking at you with those big sweet eyes and your phone goes off
Why do paintings of people centuries ago never show pimples? …
God: To make you all safer, I’ve made sure 50% of humanity is alert in the morning and 50% in the evening…
I got my Covid test results back today…