je suis venu, j'ai cliqué,
Muslim (7 blagues)
Voir aussi :
A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.
That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.
As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realizes there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.
The next morning he wakes up to find a queue of naked men leading into the mosque. At the front, the mosque leader is in prayer with the man leading the line.
As the prayer finishes, he drops to his knees and swings his fist into the naked guys balls, flooring him! The naked guy slowly comes to his senses and crawls out of the mosque.
Confused, the marine asks the mosque leader what’s going on…
“These men are thieves, rapists and murderers from all over Afghanistan.” He says, “Instead of prison, their punishment is to walk through the desert in nothing but their sandals, receive Allah’s justice, then return home.”
The marine returns to his post and continues to watch these unusual punishments.
After six long months of no bed, no clean water, no toilet and witnessing this unusual justice system, his replacement arrives.
“Hey, my last post was in Korea, how is it here?” asks the replacement. “And what’s with this queue of naked guys in the middle of nowhere!?”
“Well, I’ll be honest with you”, replies the marine, “this a shit post, and what you’re looking at here is a criminal punch line.”
🔗Voir la blague
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah.
He said, “Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I’m only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won’t know what to do sexually, can I have 72 prostitutes?”
Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, “Actually, 72 virgins are here in heaven because bastards like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you’ll be on constant, exhausting duty.”
The bomber responded, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”
And Allah replied, “Who said they were women?”
🔗Voir la blague
A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank
The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.
A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”
About 90 students raise their hands.
“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”
About 40 students raise their hands.
“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”
About 15 students raise their hand.
“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”
Three students raise their hands.
“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”
Way in the back, Hamid raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”
The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Hamad, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”
Hamad replied, “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”
🔗Voir la blague
In Canada, you are more likely to die of a kick of a moose than a terrorist attack.
Those damn moose limbs.
It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.